Saturday, February 10, 2007


O.K., the chalupa is more of a taco than a wrap, but I just had one, so it was on my brain. Deal with it. I wasn't going to do a recap, because there were only two games last night, and my new fourth favorite team, the Chicago Havlats, were (surprise) pitiful. But the Tampa-New York game can not be left alone.

It was never much of a contest, the Rangers spent most of the night ganging up on the Lightning, sometimes literally:

St. Louis takes his height advantage to extremes

New York's bullying appeared to pay off, as they eventually got a goal from non-name scrub Colin Orr, who was made to pay for it by our very own ex-Penguin Andre Roy:

That'll teach you to shoot the puck

Then later, the Rangers really started to put the game away, when Holmqvist lost his apparent ongoing bout with insomnia, which led to a goal by the legendary Ryan Hollweg:

"Zzzzzz....mmmm swedish meatballs...zzzzz"

The Lightning struggled to get anything going all game, perhaps in part because the Rangers took to the practice of riding Tampa's sticks all night.

"Look at me! I pooped out a puck! Wheeee!"

The game only deteriorated from there. The Rangers spent the rest of the period skating about and showing off to their lowly opponents...

"Look, nothing up my sleeves..."

So yeah, all in all, a rather dull night, I'd say.

Facts from last night's game:

~The Rangers won, 5-0.

~The Rangers goals came from:

Colton Orr. Career: 66 games, 9 shots, one goal. He was a healthy scratch in five of New York's previous seven games.

Marcel Hossa. His 24th career goal in 176 games. What an All-Star.

Ryan Hollweg. His 3rd goal in 105 career games.

Sean Avery. His 43rd career goal in 295 games

Career goal #612. Nuff said. But he scored after all the shouting was done

So let me run that by you again. Johan Holmqvist gave up five goals - to Jaromir Jagr, and four players who now have a combined 71 goals in 642 career games. Good thing they're starting Johan over Marc Denis. That's like...I can't even come up - oh wait, yes I can, that's like watching the Pirates get swept by the Royals. Nevermind. Ugh.


Rangers GM Glen Sather said in a recent interview that he would be willing to sacrifice his left testicle, among other stuff, in a trade for Sidney Crosby. I personally would have to veto the idea, if for no other reason than the serious ensuing difficulties in figuring out how to reshuffle the lines and get the testicle appropriate ice time.

The Pens take on the Leafs tonight, a team they have beaten 8-2 and 4-1. Mats Sundin recently (kudos to him) reached the 20 goal plateau for the 16th consecutive season. The game should be interesting, since it features the Pens awful road penalty killing against the Leafs league worst home penalty kill. Let's Go Pens!

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