Don't Call It a Comeback

No, seriously, don't. I was gone briefly, the employment world required a 70 hour work week from me. However, the Jack is back, and we must review everything that took place last night in the hockey world.

OK, not everything, I'm not going to discuss the playoff-irrelevant Phoenix/Philly game, except to mention that Philly's offense was SO incredibly lame-duck that they were shut out by a goalie who gave up five goals in five minutes in his previous outing. Ahh, Flyer fans, the road ahead is long and winding.

On to some games that people give a crap about...

~I think it is safe to rule Washington completely out of the playoff picture now. Atlanta got off to a bit of a sluggish start, doing just a bit of standing around and watching:

Everyone anxiously waits for Mike Green to do something, anything

In spite of their rather lackluster start, they managed to tally twice and take a 2-1 lead into the second. Not much took place in the second, as Atlanta tallied the lone goal in the second, embarrassing Brent Johnson so badly he decided to pull his groin, and himself, from the game. Welcome...Frederick Cassivi?

Perhaps this was the motivation Washington needed, as Ovechkin tallied his second goal of the game (and 41st of the season) 96 seconds into the third to cut the score to 3-2...or perhaps there was other mojo at work:

Green has emergency LASIK surgery in an attempt to up his offensive game

All was for naught, however, as Atlanta scored one more to put the game away, 4-2. Washington has now lost eight in a row and stands 16 points out of a playoff spot with 12 games left. Hmm...is that a fork sticking out of Ovechkin?

~Out West, Edmonton did an even worse job. They, too, are in a position where they need every point possible to keep themselves sniffing any playoff-scented air, and went into last night playing the West's worst, the LA Kings. The night began briskly, as Noah Clarke led off withhis first career goal and some witty banter:

"Dude, you really need to get rid of that stubble, people might think you're Jagr"

Later in the first, things started looking more like a typical Kings game, as LA gave up a breakaway on their own power play to perennial All-Star Toby Petersen:

Garon humming to "Dancing Queen" on his i-Pod instead of doing his job

Unfortunately, that was to be Edmonton's lone highlight of the night. Some tool named Brad Winchester picked a couple of fights, Los Angeles got a couple of power play goals (with almost all the points coming from Cammalleri, Blake and Visnovsky) and before you knew it, the game was over and LA had a 5-1 victory in the bag.

Edmonton has now lost eight in a row, including five in a row to start a month for the first time in franchise history. They are now 18 points out with 12 to play, and I think I see another dead duck in the road.

~Last, but certainly not least, an exciting (if not entirely relevant) game in Central USA between Calgary and St. Louis. Calgary came out hopping, and it showed, as they out shot St. Louis 29-19, went 2-for-5 on the power play, and received some incredible goal tending from Mikka Kiprusoff to build up a 4-2 lead with just under 14 minutes remaining in the game:

Kiprusoff just barely denies a suddenly en fuego Brad Boyes

It wouldn't last long, though, as St. Louis put together a sudden barrage. a mere 32 seconds later, Petr Cajanek cut the score to 4-3, and St. Louis then tied it up at 4-4, pulling out every trick in their bag:

Barret Jackman attempts to hit Kiprusoff right in his bag of tricks

St. Louis ran out of mojo after that, failing to capitalize on an OT power play, and then eventually surrendering the second point to Calgary in the shootout. Calgary maintains their 10 point lead over Colorado for the final spot out West, and is only one point out of fifth.

St. Louis may finish the season with a rather unimpressive record, but you heard it here first, folks. Watch out for St. Louis next year. They are now 22-12-7 since Andy Murray took over as head coach (a very impressive record regardless of who they have or haven't played), they acquired what appears to be a very underrated forward in Brad Boyes (eight points in six games since the trade), they have a ton of picks in this year's draft and next, and they have some defenseman named Johnson who is about ready to arrive. Those who said they would be good soon were right on the money.

Next up for the Pens? Boofallo at home, and a preview from me (since it's quite the important game).